Humility

Today I was amazed by how relative "humility" is.

The topic of the sermon this morning at EBF was hypocrisy, and the pastor included a special warning against pride as part of the message. I sat thinking to myself, am I prideful?
I don't think so... I mean sure, sometimes I catch myself thinking too highly of myself, but I'm certainly not cocky, right?

So I'm sitting in the Periodicals section of the library tonight and finishing up some readings in preparation for my Development of the Modern American City midterm tomorrow. I'm doing great focusing, getting through the readings, enjoying the material. I then move on to tackle the 3 possible essay topics, planning on outlining all three.

All of a sudden I sense the familiar voice of the Holy Spirit, prompting me to get on my knees to pray. Right at my desk, in the middle of the library. I think, hah, no way, and try to get back to studying. The Spirit keeps calling, 'humble yourself, acknowledge my sovreignty in this place." How can I deny the call of God? How can I focus when I feel like I am disobeying my Father?

So, still sitting in my seat, I pray, God, why now? I need to work through these essays, why confront me now? This scares me, I don't want to look like a freak in front of all these people.

He responds, You thought you were humble, yet you can't honor my power by kneeling on the ground for a few minutes in room full of people who have no idea who you are, most of which you rarely encounter? I will provide for your exam tomorrow, I will tell you which essay to study, if you merely humble yourself, break down your pride enough, to get on your knees and listen to me.

Spiritual warfare raged in my head for probably 10 minutes - I was paralyzed by my fear of ridicule, yet compelled by how faithful my Father has shown Himself in the past few months in all ways, and the reality that I could not sleep tonight if I had walked away from this calling.

Finally I pulled out my chair, got on my knees for probably 10 seconds, listened to God's instruction, got up and packed up and walked out of the library.

I'm ashamed. Not because I got on my knees and people saw me.
Because I could only get on my knees for 10 seconds. That when my Lord and Savior, my benevolent Father asks me to spend a quiet moment in reverence for Him so He can help me on my exam, I have so much pride that I can only manage to be on my knees for 10 seconds.

I guess this put humility in perspective for me. Just because we're not cocky doesn't mean we don't have pride. Situations like this help me see how much pride I actually do harbor in my heart.

Please pray for me. I know that God's plans for me, as soon as this year, will require an even further destruction of the pride I have built up around myself. How can I possibly be a part of MEIV's vision to transform this whole campus if I am preoccupied with such a petty concern as image?

Praise, glorify, exalt our loving Father. He wants only the best for us. I know that He is using tonight to both teach me about my pride and to teach me to trust Him in every circumstance: finanically, academically, in my relationships, in all things. I acknowledge my shortcomings, Lord, and praise you all the more for them, for Your power is made perfect in my weakness.

Hey Everyone!

I want to start off by thanking you all so very much for all your kind and encouraging emails, letters, and gifts over the past few weeks. It's meant so much to me to hear from all of you and to be reminded that I am loved by those that mean the most to me.

I also want to apologize for the fact that I have been unable to respond to many of your emails. Quite frankly, it's been unbelievably busy out here at Northwestern - between Drumline, classes, Bible Studies, and now Boomshaka (check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FLVMUWsHmk) - I've hardly had time to take a breather.

So, I've decided to set up this simple blog so I can let all of you know about the things going on in my life (and you can tell me about what's going on back East!). A big part of this will probably be prayer requests as well.

It's pretty late right now so I don't have too much time to fill you in on all the happenings in my college life, so I'll skip to prayer requests for now. Hopefully I'll have a chance this week to give you all an update on my day-to-day things, but for now these are the major spiritual concerns that have been foremost on my heart:

-That I might seek God in the morning when I get up and that He might be the foremost in my thoughts throughout the day.

-That others might see God's love through me in my interaction with them.

-That God will give me a humble heart - a hard thing for me so far has been with pride. In adjusting to this new environment it's only been natural to put up a "safety wall,"
a facade that protects my own selfish interests of trying to make friends, to "be on top" in my new environment; put simply, instead of loving those around me with the same love God has shown me, in many social circumstances I put on an attitude of "cool." That's not what God calls for. On a related note, I have been quick to form judgments about those around me. Many people I have encountered at Christian groups around campus, I recognize because I saw them drinking at a party the night before. I am so quick to turn away from them because I feel like they're not 'walking the walk,' but I need constant reminding that I myself am a sinner too. (I'm reminded specifically of the parable where the man tries to remove a speck in his own eye when he has a log in his own). I have been in a fairly self-righteous mindset, and need reminding that it is by GRACE that I am saved.

-A praise! I am currently involved in a small group that meets on Sunday nights. There are a few other NU undergrads but also several young couples / families. I can tell God is working through these people and I look forward to getting to know them more. Also, a Marching Band Bible study has begun to meet on Monday nights after rehearsal, and this has been good too.

OK Well I'm feeling pretty sick but I hope to hear from more to you and to respond to some of your emails and letters this week sometime!

My email address is aaron.faucher@gmail.com . If you would like my school address just email me and I will let you know!

More to come soon.

Love and God bless,
Aaron

PS. Go 'Cats! 5-0